I'm in the dressing room with a lovely pair of beige wool slacks that I've been lusting after for a month or so...and I'm ready to put them on. I even toy with trying on the "skinny day size" ( you all know what I mean) and decided to go for it!
I pull the pants apart, poised and excited, and suddenly something catches my attention.
"What the heck is that on the inside waistband of these pants?"
I'm so caught off guard I actually said out loud "These pants have writing on the inside of them!" The inside said something to the tune of this:
con·fi·dence [kon-fi-duhns]: 1. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
I'm all like "What the heck?"...and I put them on anyways.
What followed was sheer horror:
(and not just the horror of another one of my badly drawn stick figures...this is why I don't do CAD)
Yes the pants look just like this on my body. I'm thinking "What the heck is up with my hips and why can you see VPL and what the heck is wrong with these confident pants?!?!"
In a fit of disbelief, I put on the larger size...I think "I came prepared for a reason!"...
But it is no use. The larger pants look just as shameful.
Apparently the pants were trying to tell me that I'd need to have a lot of confidence to leave the house in them. I put them safely into the arms of the sales associate and left hastily.
I can help but think that the entire situation is pretty laugh worthy. It reminds me of Elaine's "mirror" issues with a dress she puts on in Barney's on Seinfeld.
